Clothes for big-boobed girls

I have spent my whole adult life fretting about my figure.  I know I am not alone, and I know if I really REALLY tried, I could do something about it.  More exercise.  A super healthy diet.  But how boring!

I have tried and failed many times to reach the unattainable and fight what nature gave me.  I spend far too much time worrying about my belly; what I should put in it, how far it is sticking out, and why it has to be so disgustingly saggy.  I am a size 13 (yes, not a 12 and not a 14 either, depending on the tummy!) with a large bust (32FF) and a rounded belly with a life of it’s own. I have analysed the body shape bibles, and confused myself to distraction, but have decided that I am closest to Trinny & Suzannah’s hourglass shape, or perhaps the vase… You lucky girl! I hear some of you shout. But no. I am not happy.  Finding clothes to fit is very depressing.  There are shops out there that cater for girls with a big bust, but I have noticed that the styles seem to make the big busted girl look even bigger! Is that the intention?  I am always trying to make mine look smaller!!!   And I am always stuck when it comes to the tummy.  Control underwear is my best friend.  Think Renee Zellweger’s Bridget Jones and you have the idea!

I have always wanted to have a smaller waist and a smaller bust; the summer is the worst time, with all the stunning summer dresses with shoestring straps. A girl needs good arms for such dresses, too.  Mine are a little saggy to be on show, but when it’s hot I get ’em out with everyone else and hope nobody notices.  I wear an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder bra, so strapless backless dresses are never going to be for me.  I have tried some of the best bras around, but gravity is what it is.  The last time I wore my strapless dress, I spent a ridiculous amount of time adjusting myself, becoming paranoid that things were slipping without my knowledge and that  I might have a ‘Richard and Judy’ moment. Who could forget that terrible day Judy’s dress decided to ‘malfunction’ in front of the world?  I felt sooooo bad for her, and if I ever met her, I would simply want to hug her and tell her I feel her pain.  Ladies, is it worth all this pain and embarrassment, really?

So, this morning, drinking my morning coffee and listening to the radio, I hear all about the Tony Awards.  James Cordon has won an award, and well done to him. A wonderful achievement for a young British actor who was up against an awesome list of competitors such as Phillip Seymour Hoffman and James Earl Jones.  (Can I just point out here that none of these actors are under the pressure of their leading ladies to be slim and slender, and it does not seem to affect their careers at all!)  So, whilst looking at the Daily Mail online, I scroll down the page to see who else won, and there is the delicious Hugh Jackman, looking dapper in his bow tie.  He is pictured with his (older) wife of 15 years, Deborra-Lee Furness, looking every bit as glamorous in a black dress with a dusty pink feather trim.  Check out this site: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2157492/Tony-Awards-2012-James-Corden-chokes-tears-scoops-Best-Actor-gong.html?ito=feeds-newsxml I noticed something about Deborra-Lee.  She is curvy, with great legs, a generous bust and lovely shoulders.  She seems to have the same problem as me with regards to the midriff.  Her tummy sticks out, just like mine!!!  Hooray!!!! It is so surprising and unusual to see a beautiful woman with a refreshingly natural and normal figure (after all, I am a normal, natural woman without a personal trainer, a chef, a surgeon or the money for any of the fore-mentioned), and proud of it, on the arm of a man who is so… well, fit!

I have a boyfriend.  He is my age, and compared with many men of his age, he is very fit; he has all his hair, with a scattering of the odd grey; he has a washboard stomach, he looks fantastic on the tennis courts running around in his shorts… mmmm.  I guess I should be running around with him, but I prefer to sit in the sun and read a book!  I sometimes wonder what he sees in me.   I am (sadly) so obsessed with my body shape (or should I say my tummy shape) that I often think he might find someone slimmer, prettier, younger.  I look at other women when we go out and despair that they all have better waists than me.  But then, I look at a couple like Deborra-Lee and Hugh Jackman, and I am immediately cheered. Here is a couple that have a high profile marriage, I should imagine used to being in the public eye and scrutinized.  They seem very happy and it seems he loves his wife despite the fact that she is not a size zero like all the other ‘hollywood’ wives.  Could it be that he prefers a curvaceous figure?  I have asked my boyfriend if he thinks I need to lose weight.  He tends to say he’s happy the way I am.  I think the problem is mine.   But, it does go further.  The problem is everywhere.  Celebrities, movies, magazines, advertising…. all I see is youth, beauty and slender women.  When are the powers that be going to realise that women like me are sick of being told we are fat? Or old?  Or ugly? And for God’s sake, why oh why do all our lovely curvy women who hit the big time have to shrink to teeny?  Can’t they stop at the puppy fat stage?  I’d feel so much better about myself.  Adele, you look amazing, please stop now.  I couldn’t bear it if you became just like all the others.

I am past the big 40 now.  Life is supposed to begin at 40.  I think I must find a way to be happy with my body.  After all these years of being unhappy and trying to change it, maybe it’s time I took a leaf out of Deborra-Lee’s book.  She quotes: “heaven forbid I have a human experience and carry a little weight.”  Well done for accepting and loving what you have been given, having the confidence to say **** you to the powers that be, and hanging on to such a fit bloke!  You go, girl.

Hello world!

Well, hello fellow bloggers! I am a complete novice to this so bear with me whilst I find my feet!

I shall probably talk nonsense that nobody will really want to read apart from me, but hey ho, never mind.

Once I get going I will post all sorts of interesting (to me) things.  Watch this space….